Vision |
When it comes to end-of-life planning, three-quarters of people agree that having your affairs in order before you die is a good idea. Yet, sadly, only about one-quarter of people actually get around to doing anything about it. The consequences of this are that a person's loved ones are left with sorting out the deceased's affairs when they should be grieving.
I want to change that.
My service aims to provide people with the knowledge, resources, and support needed to complete your personal and comprehensive end-of-life plan and give you the peace of mind that it brings. I want my clients to see their end-of-life plan as a gift of love.
I want to change that.
My service aims to provide people with the knowledge, resources, and support needed to complete your personal and comprehensive end-of-life plan and give you the peace of mind that it brings. I want my clients to see their end-of-life plan as a gift of love.
Results |
When you work with me, you will receive all the support you need to complete a personal and comprehensive end-of-life plan that includes:
In addition to the learning provided, completing an end-of-life plan provides you and your loved ones with -
- Will planning & Executor appointment
- Powers-of-Attorney for Health Care and Finances appointments
- Advance Directive or Living Will planning
- Funeral planning
- Legacy planning
- The Before I Go Method Self-Study course
- The Before I Go Method course with expert coaching
- Standalone Before I Go modules such as "Creating Your Advanced Directive"
In addition to the learning provided, completing an end-of-life plan provides you and your loved ones with -
- peace of mind at having your affairs in order
- confidence that your wishes will be carried out
- a sense of empowerment that you can talk openly about end-of-life matters with family, friends, and health professionals
- the knowledge needed to talk confidently with lawyers, estate planners, and funeral directors
- the assurance that your life legacy will endure and ensure your place in the life of your family, friends, and community for generations.
Challenges
Why do so few people get around to completing their end-of-life plans? In my experience, fear is the main reason that holds people back from undertaking their end-of-life plans. Let's face it - most of us will say we don't fear death. After all, when we're dead, fear plays little part in our experience. It's the fear of dying that frightens us. Psychologists tell us that the fear of dying is the number one fear shared by human beings throughout the world. Despite our attempts to alleviate this fear with a variety of religious and spiritual beliefs in an afterlife, most of us still fear dying or, more specifically, we fear the pain, suffering, loss of independence & identity, loss of mobility and mental acuity that we associate with dying.
Yet, despite our fear, we're all going to die eventually. I can guarantee that.
Dealing with our fear of dying is one of the first challenges I address in my work. This challenges can present themselves in various ways: (1) procrastination; (2) anxiety; (3) superstitious beliefs; (4) overwhelm; and (5) paralysis. See below for my diagnosis of these challenges.
Yet, despite our fear, we're all going to die eventually. I can guarantee that.
Dealing with our fear of dying is one of the first challenges I address in my work. This challenges can present themselves in various ways: (1) procrastination; (2) anxiety; (3) superstitious beliefs; (4) overwhelm; and (5) paralysis. See below for my diagnosis of these challenges.
Diagnosis
While not all people manifest these challenges, many do and it's my task to address these. Firstly, let's look at how fear can manifest itself in an individual's behaviour. I've illustrated each with quotes that I have actually encountered through my work with clients.
I can share the knowledge, resources, and support you need to alleviate your fears and empower you with the confidence required to create a comprehensive end-of-life plan.
- procrastination:
- "I'll get around to it later. I'm too busy right now."
- "Can I do it tomorrow? There's a good show on Netflix."
- "What? I'm too young to be thinking about death."
- anxiety
- "I don't feel like I can do it right now. I don't feel well."
- "I don't know enough about these things. My partner will deal with it."
- "My family doesn't want to talk about it. They don't know why I'm bringing it up now."
- superstitious beliefs
- "If we start talking about death, it'll come into my life."
- "When it's my time, it's my time. There's nothing I can do about it."
- "I don't want to tempt fate."
- sense of overwhelm
- "There's too much to think about. I don't know where to start."
- "We don't have the money to sort these things out. Lawyers cost a fortune."
- "My parents have so much stuff and Dad's finances are too complicated. I wouldn't know where to begin."
- paralysis
- "It's too much! I can't do this."
- "My kids will have to sort everything out."
- "Just dig a hole and throw me in."
- fear of dying
- lack of knowledge
- lack of support
- sense of overwhelm
- lack of confidence
- family and/or friends being uncooperative or unwilling to broach the subject
I can share the knowledge, resources, and support you need to alleviate your fears and empower you with the confidence required to create a comprehensive end-of-life plan.
The Before I Go Method
When you work with me, you receive the benefit of working with a tried and true method. The Before I Go Method is an educational and coaching programme designed and implemented by the founder of Before I Go Solutions, Jane Rogers. Before I Go Solutions is a non-profit community enterprise based in Scotland that provides people with the knowledge, resources, and support to create comprehensive end-of-life plans. It also offers training to anyone interested in becoming an accredited end-of-life planning facilitator. Jane's vision has always been "to see end-of-life plans as commonplace as birth plans."
I offer you a step-by-step approach that reduces any fear and apprehension you may be feeling. I supply you with a workbook where you document your information and wishes to pass on to your loved ones and key appointments like your Executor and Powers-of-Attorney as well as health professionals and relevant others. You follow a modular course that breaks down the process into manageable chunks.
You also receive coaching support (1-1 or small group) that ensures that you do not make this journey alone.
There are options to undertake a full course or standalone modules.
Before I Go Method Facilitator Training is also available for those wishing to learn how to help others create their end-of-life plans. This can be the perfect complementary training for hospice workers, death doulas, care staff, nurses, and others in the end-of-life services Or, it can be the perfect beginning to a new full or part-time career as an End-of-Life Planning Facilitator.
I offer you a step-by-step approach that reduces any fear and apprehension you may be feeling. I supply you with a workbook where you document your information and wishes to pass on to your loved ones and key appointments like your Executor and Powers-of-Attorney as well as health professionals and relevant others. You follow a modular course that breaks down the process into manageable chunks.
You also receive coaching support (1-1 or small group) that ensures that you do not make this journey alone.
There are options to undertake a full course or standalone modules.
Before I Go Method Facilitator Training is also available for those wishing to learn how to help others create their end-of-life plans. This can be the perfect complementary training for hospice workers, death doulas, care staff, nurses, and others in the end-of-life services Or, it can be the perfect beginning to a new full or part-time career as an End-of-Life Planning Facilitator.
Passion
bone Why did I become an End-of-Life Planning Educator and Facilitator? Because I didn't want others to have to go through what I went through when my parents died.
Back in January 2004, I received news that my father had been diagnosed with bone cancer and had been given only weeks to live. I was shocked. I'd spoken to him at Christmas and he sounded healthy. At 78 he was going for daily walks with the dog and, except for a little arthritic pain, felt fine. That changed just after New Years Day when he slipped and fell in the bathroom. A subsequent X-ray of his shoulder in Emergency revealed Stage 4 bone cancer. He never left the hospital.
I flew home from my home in Scotland to be with him. It was a difficult time. Our family had never talked openly about death and dying. I knew Dad had a will but I had no idea of his wishes regarding treatment or other plans. One night near the end, the consultant came to me and told me Dad's kidneys were failing. Since my father was uncommunicative, the doctor wanted my permission to begin dialysis. It would be an irreversible procedure and may or may not extend my father's life. A decision was urgently needed. Unable to consult with my father, I was uncertain as to what to do but in the end, I went with the doctor. Unfortunately, in hindsight, being hooked up to a machine only made things worse. It increased his anxiety and left him even more depressed than he was already. And, it didn't prolong his life at all. For a long time afterwards, I felt as if I'd made the wrong decision and disappointed my father. Had I known his wishes, I could have made a more informed decision.
That is why I became an End-of-Life Educator and Facilitator. I don't want others to go through what I did. I want to encourage parents and children to talk to one another. I want people to have these important conversation with their doctors before it's too late. I want everyone to experience peace of mind at knowing their wishes are known, alleviating their loved ones of guilt or shame. I want you to know that your end-of-life plan is your final gift of love.
Back in January 2004, I received news that my father had been diagnosed with bone cancer and had been given only weeks to live. I was shocked. I'd spoken to him at Christmas and he sounded healthy. At 78 he was going for daily walks with the dog and, except for a little arthritic pain, felt fine. That changed just after New Years Day when he slipped and fell in the bathroom. A subsequent X-ray of his shoulder in Emergency revealed Stage 4 bone cancer. He never left the hospital.
I flew home from my home in Scotland to be with him. It was a difficult time. Our family had never talked openly about death and dying. I knew Dad had a will but I had no idea of his wishes regarding treatment or other plans. One night near the end, the consultant came to me and told me Dad's kidneys were failing. Since my father was uncommunicative, the doctor wanted my permission to begin dialysis. It would be an irreversible procedure and may or may not extend my father's life. A decision was urgently needed. Unable to consult with my father, I was uncertain as to what to do but in the end, I went with the doctor. Unfortunately, in hindsight, being hooked up to a machine only made things worse. It increased his anxiety and left him even more depressed than he was already. And, it didn't prolong his life at all. For a long time afterwards, I felt as if I'd made the wrong decision and disappointed my father. Had I known his wishes, I could have made a more informed decision.
That is why I became an End-of-Life Educator and Facilitator. I don't want others to go through what I did. I want to encourage parents and children to talk to one another. I want people to have these important conversation with their doctors before it's too late. I want everyone to experience peace of mind at knowing their wishes are known, alleviating their loved ones of guilt or shame. I want you to know that your end-of-life plan is your final gift of love.
Credibility
In 2016, I attended Jane's end-of-life workshops and subsequently undertook the training she offered. In 2017, I graduated from the first Before I Go Facilitation training programme and began coaching online. By 2020, I was the Head Facilitator of the Before I Go organization. As 2021 dawns, I look forward to working closely with Jane to develop our work worldwide and help realize the "commonplace" of end-of-life plans in everyone's lives.
In addition, I bring nearly five decades of counselling, teaching, mentoring, and coaching experience to my work as well as a Ph.D. in English Literature. How does an academic degree help? Years of studying literature has deepened and broadened my understanding and appreciation of human experience. It eventually led me to the study of oral storytelling and communication, skills which I've taken into the community and corporate world.
I'm ready to work with you? Are you ready?
Not sure?
Contact me and tell me why?
In addition, I bring nearly five decades of counselling, teaching, mentoring, and coaching experience to my work as well as a Ph.D. in English Literature. How does an academic degree help? Years of studying literature has deepened and broadened my understanding and appreciation of human experience. It eventually led me to the study of oral storytelling and communication, skills which I've taken into the community and corporate world.
I'm ready to work with you? Are you ready?
Not sure?
Contact me and tell me why?
Dr. Williams' knowledge of and compassion for my concerns was wonderful. He walked me step by step through the process and I feel so much better because that is another step that is completed that I don't have to worry about...and neither do my loved ones. If you are struggling with making out your will, powers of attorney, and advanced directive, I encourage you to contact Dr. Williams. I highly and without a doubt recommend his assistance in this most important part of your life.” ~ G. Augustine, Iowa, U.S.A.
Some of the organizations I've worked with:
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